Tuesday, December 21, 2010

How to Use Advertising to Create Hatred for Your Brand

This is a really easy how too Blog Post. This will enable you to take people who have a positive image of your Brand or Product and turn that slowly into simmering hatred and loathing. It's really easy. Follow these simple steps and you are on your way to success!

Step One: Create your really freaking cool commercial.

Step Two: Pick a really F*$%ing Annoying Soundtrack that destroys the really freaking cool commercial.

Step Three: Hire a really horrible media planner.

When picking a Soundtrack you have two simple choices:

Choose something cutesy but that over time with so many repetitive showings makes you throw your remote at the TV, to scream in panic and run out of the room, or vow never to buy that Brand products ever again. Normally the problem here lies in the really bad media planning more so than the song. Remember it's cutesy so we don't hate it at first!

Apple does a great job here by stealing the Key Board Cat Song. It's cute when the Cat Plays the Piano. It was ok the first time I saw the commercial. Now I just want to smash every IPad I see when this comes on. It's the repetitive nature like the sound of a dentist drill to me now.

Your second choice is to choose a really freaking derivative pop band that is a current pop culture darling. One that steals their music from great bands of yesterday and add their catching annoying song to your really freaking cool commercial. Then make sure this commercial is so over bought by crappy media planning that you will see it several times every half hour. Sometimes twice in the same commercial break.

I once owned a Honda Civic. Now not only do I hate Honda I try to run Civics off the road because of this loathsome Vampire Weekend song that rips off the early 70's Kinks so bad they should owe the Kinks royalties.

And you are done. You have successfully turned lovers into haters. And not just any haters. Haters that will go to great lengths to trash your brand via Social Media, in person Word of Mouth, even possibly paying for sky writers at the beach in the summer to slam your great Product and Brand over crappy sound tracks and media planning! Something to be said for the old school original jingle writer I must say! And again if this commercial wasn't on 3,000 times a day it wouldn't be half as bad.

*my apologies to people who love Keyboard Cat, Apple, and Honda. If you own Vampire Weekend I read their Rollingstone Interview. Cool guys but sorry I am a music snob and hate pop music. For reference check out the Kink's 1970 Album LINK

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